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6月18日 depressedhey
my sister went to a camp, as a counselor, for disabled people. she was supposed to only be gone for three weeks. she only called once, talked to me only once.she decidied to stay fro another week. i took it pretty hard. at first i was ok, cus my other sisters Happiness and Purple (nicknames) were there. But then Happiness went out of stae to get a job and Purple is studying to be a nurse. then things for me got kind of depressing. i would just sit around and whatch TV all day. and ive noticed a very dramatic change in my appitiete. Normally in summer i just like, well basically eat buttloads of food. but lately ill just skipp breakfast , have like a lean pocket for lunch and nibble at whatever mom made for dinner. and i just cant concentrate to get myself to clean. but at night when i rip my fried brain away from the tv, i would actually talk to God. its hard to explain, i d like connect my talking/thinking to God. See i used to be that u have to be praying to talk to God. but u sort of dont, its like taking whatever ur thinking a sned it up to God because He'll listen to you, every thing in your haert is connected to Him, He wants u telll HIm, everything in ur head, that just suddenly pops up. It felt really, really good.
i was feeling depressed so i like forced my self to make some soup and while waiting for it to boil, i picked up a pen and started writting. Some of it i wrote in here, some about going to a new high school, and a whole bunch of different things. then i went and ate my soup and forgot about it on the counter. the next morning my mom said " How are u feeling" and i was like "HUH?" then she said "u seemed depressed form ur little note." then i guess i felt embarressed, because my mom knew how i was feeling, i was vulnerable. and now , typing this, i realize God had a hand in that because really feel kind of better that my mom noticed that something was different, and she is also makeing sure i at least get some food in me. now guys dont get all weird on me, this only happend in like 3 weeks. sometimes i still get lonely, but that makes me all the more excieted to talk to God and to go to Youth group.
In His Grip,
Belle` 评论 (3)
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